Having a fear of the doctor can be challenging. Even more so for children with disabilities. If you (or anyone that you love) struggles with a fear of doctors, these tips can really help.
PTSD AS A NEWBORN:
When Timothy was first born, he needed surgery and stayed 3.5 weeks in the NICU. It was a typical NICU stay with surgery, multiple blood draws, tests and NG tubes going in and out several times. His little bassinet had the cutest puppy in it from the nurses for him to look at. A few days after we had brought him home, I unpacked his puppy. As soon as he saw it, he began to cry. He hated seeing that puppy. I packed it away for quite a few months and it never bothered him after that. He played with it for years after, but those first weeks it clearly gave him an anxious reminder of his early days.
A FOUR MONTH OLD:
We knew, at birth, that Timothy had a rather large hole in his heart and would probably require a surgery. We had been watching it and hoping that we could wait as long as possible, so that he could grow and get stronger. By the time that he was four months old, it became imperative that we operate right away. The moment I stepped off the elevator into the hospital, his whole body tensed and he became very discontented. He clearly understood where I was bringing him. I felt like such a betrayer of his trust. His next week would involve needles and strangers and being taken away from Mama and Daddy. There was no way I could help him understand that I was actually helping him. How could I help him overcome his fear of the doctor?
A THREE YEAR OLD:
Another time, when he was 3 years old, he needed to have his tonsils and adenoids out to help correct his obstructive sleep apnea. Timothy was about the development of an 18 month old, did not walk and was fairly non-verbal. He was very tense and uncomfortable the morning of the surgery. I knew he did not want to be there. The doctor began to notice a bad smell from his diaper and as I checked him, we saw that he must be fighting a stomach bug. The second the doctor said that we would need to reschedule the surgery, Timothy relaxed and became happy. He started saying and waving “bye-bye” to the doctor. Being mostly non-verbal, I didn’t realize just how much he really understood at this young age.
A TEN YEAR OLD:
When Timothy was 10 years old, he needed a second Open Heart Surgery. He had not been to the hospital in quite awhile. As soon as we began his doctor visits, he became terrified. I mean TERRIFIED. By this time, he was much bigger and too heavy for me to handle when he got this way. He was now about the size of a five year old, but he was heavy. Right in the middle of the waiting room, he began to scream, kick, and fall on the ground terrified. It became impossible for me to handle him when he was so afraid. My husband and my oldest son were sometimes available to come and help, but so often it was just me with him. It was then that I realized I needed a new approach to help him alleviate his fear of going to the doctor.
5 Ways I Helped Him Resolve His Fear of the Doctor
1.) GET COMFORTABLE WITH THE ATMOSPHERE
I began by taking lots of pictures of everything I could think of while we were there. He was scared of the scale… so I took a picture of him standing on it. He was scared of the O2 Sensor… so we took a picture of him wearing it. The blood pressure cuff, the elevator, the wires for the EKG, the echo procedure, the nurses and doctors standing with him, whatever I could think of. Then, after his visit, we would go home and show everyone the pictures and talk about what a good job he did. I printed the pictures out and put them in his own special photo album. He loved looking through the albums. We would also look at the pictures online of the clinic we would be visiting. Oftentimes, you can see some of the rooms or look at the doctor you will be seeing.
>>One easy way I help him now with the dental office is to bring him along every time one of his siblings has a visit. Every time he is along, he watches the whole process. His little sisters got a prize after their first visit and Timothy didn’t get one since he wasn’t willing to sit in the dental chair and show the dentist his teeth. That was a huge motivator for him. He missed one prize, and then was willing to sit in the chair after that<<
2.) PRACTICE AT HOME
We brought home whatever supplies we could. Doctor masks, gloves, syringes for medicine, bandages, etc… I purchased an otoscope and even an angled dental mirror. I’d put juice in the syringes, he’d let me use the mirror to look at all his teeth, we’d use the masks and gloves. Timothy came to LOVE playing doctor or dentist at home. Still, the moment we entered the clinic he tensed up and became uncooperative and I knew his fear of the doctor was going to be a processs. It took a lot of practice and becoming familiar at home with some of the things I knew they would do later. He still is really scared to lie down in the beds.
3.) SPEAK TO THE STAFF
I would call ahead before our visit and let them know that he has high anxiety about going. I suggested that they talk to Timothy down at his level when we arrived. Frequently, I had noticed that doctors would talk to me the whole time, and then start poking him with needles or things that scared him. This step helped TREMENDOUSLY and almost completely alleviated his fear of the doctor by itself. It was amazing how well he reacted to them once they began to talk to him.
I held back a little when they would take him by the hand and let them walk in front of me as we moved through the building. If he became afraid or uncomfortable, I was right there to step in. I was trying to help him build a relationship with them and not just take over myself. Sometimes, I had to go outside of my comfort zone to speak up on his behalf. One visit when my husband was with, the nurse had really enlarged earlobes and it scared Timothy to look at him. I’m sure he was a wonderful nurse, but we had to kindly explain and ask for a different nurse to help Timothy.
4.) BRING A SUPPORT STUFFY
Before one of Timothy’s ambulance rides, an EMT asked if he had a favorite animal that he would want to bring with on his way to the hospital. I had never thought of that before. I grabbed one of his puppies to go along. One of the things Timothy was scared of was having his temperature taken (even just the swipe of his forehead with an infrared thermometer). I thought maybe the doctor could try swiping the puppy first. Timothy gladly lifted the puppy up for him and it worked like a charm. After the puppy got swiped, Timothy was comfortable being swiped himself. The puppy now went to every doctor and hospital visit. It wasn’t perfect, but it helped a ton.
5.) LEARNING TO SAY THANK YOU
Timothy isn’t really non-verbal, he’s just so difficult to understand. For this reason, we have always used sign language. After a doctor’s visit, we would sign “thank you, doctor” and “doctor help Timmy.” These things helped him to understand a very positive and productive reason for being there.
A WHOLE NEW CHILD EMERGES
As Timothy’s Open Heart Surgery approached, his anxiety became almost non-existent. After his surgery, the doctor even stitched his puppy up and bandaged him. He was even complete with the same tubes Timothy had post op. As Timothy recovered, his puppy recovered. He loved having his puppy right there in his bed with him.
AN UNEXPECTED CHALLENGE
After his many post operative doctor’s visits, we discovered a new problem. Now, instead of having a fear of the doctor, he began to cry and get upset at NOT going to the doctor. He missed everyone and would cry and cry because he wanted to go see the doctor. Well, I guess you can’t win them all. Learning to be content in the moment was another lesson for another day!
